The Following is the new Autobiography ^_^
My real identity shall remain in shadow, “I’m not the author of my creations”, Nikola Tesla
I was born on May 25th, 1989 in Amman, Jordan a small country residing east of the Mediterranean Sea
My father is Jordanian, a military pilot, so I didn’t see him often, mother is Russian, a student of medical institute, but she dropped out after my birth, however she still reads 2 books a day. Or so. Basically almost every questions I ask regardless of the subject she knows the answer.
I first went to school when I was 5 years old, started as most kids with 100% accuracy, and my passion for piano was discovered, I took private lessons, and my teacher said, “He’s very talented, not teaching him would be a great loss, the only problem is he’s 5 Years now and his fingers still small.
2 Years later I went to Russia, had to meet my aunt and that journey helped me develop my Russian accent, I stayed there for 1 year, and most exciting was the whole year snowy season, unlike Jordan the snow is thick and dry, and relatively warm, even thou sun is warm, snow doesn’t melt.
I was 7 years old returning to Jordan, I skipped 1st Grade and went to 2nd Grade, father didn’t care much for my coming and he no longer desired to pay for my expensive education, therefore I went to an average school, well now I realized the difference in layers of society, studying in average school decreased my desire to study, since I had to grow up being bullied, now I was thinking more of martial arts and self defense instead of how nuclear power plants work…
2 years past, mother is disappointed my grades fell to 80%, and I was transferred to a better school, but not elite.
Yes that pretty much solved the bullies problem, but theft started, my stuff just disappeared! So I had to bring nothing more than books and 1 pencil to school.
As long as I earned teachers’ attention there and that was a good strategy to be protected most of the time. I studied at that school till 6th grade.
7th Grade, the beginning of hell.
The school had no further classes, and I was transferred to a government school since dad would no longer pay anything for my education.
Government school in Jordan, it was worse than a state prison in U.S.
First day, I was bullied, chased down, beat up, and I was afraid from school but had to study.
That’s what I thought I study good I stay away from the bad side.
“In my dreams only” It’s impossible to study when teachers there beat you up for anything.
I got beaten with a stick my sun glasses were broken by teachers, and they forced me to cut my hair!
Hello world, my mood for study dropped in 1 month to 0%, I simply quit study, it was a protest against this inhumane treatment, teachers were hitting me even more for not doing homework. Mother was always pushing me out to go to school.
I stopped going to school, at mid day under burning desert sun I preferred to stay outside for 6 ours under some shadow, than go to school, after coming home I started reading what was my in my passion.
I was 14 years old, my favorite topics were, Paleontology “especially dinosaurs” and philosophy.
Psychology didn’t interest me much since life in that school made me a mad man already.
2 weeks after skipping school I return to school, nothing new, same old treatment, except one, teachers don’t hurt me anymore, for a simple reason. I found myself teaching THEM how to teach, and my analytic skills surpassed that of most of them, still a physics teacher of 11th grade there, didn’t know how a nuclear chain reaction works. How stupid can this be, teachers teach what they don’t know by reading the subject in the morning, and teaching it after noon. All questions I asked regarding the lesson were ignored by the teachers. Studying was no longer fun, it was a burden I hate…
11th Class graduation, I reached 11th class not even writing much on the exam paper, those teachers who knew me most, simply cheated up making marks for me, they would do a lot to help me study, but I lost the desire to study, I skipped much basics and I couldn’t make it up with teachers who don’t know much of the subjects. Home study would be great, except that in Jordan, you can’t give out exams if you didn’t attend school.
17 years old I got lucky, and left to Ukraine, there I attended some classes at school, that were really inspiring, but I felt stupid, I didn’t understand much of the physics and mathematics anymore, I felt humiliated, so I took private lessons in mathematics by the best student in my class, and he taught me algorithms, I didn’t understand much of that neither, because I didn’t master the basics of formulas, to today I still wish I can re-live life to graduate with success..
Life is Ukraine was hard, but I found my passion in Piano,
I bought a piano there, it was sold for 20$ USD.
And started playing on my own, developed the chords, played everything I heard, and started making up my own compositions. I made about a new composition everyday and other.
10 of them I memorized, the rest were for the ears of my audience, people skipped classes at school to hear my playing, that didn’t please teachers, so I had to play at home.
Again leaving school, this time I had no real excuse for leaving school in Ukraine, what would I tell my parents, “I feel humiliated for being stupid” or “I love piano more than maths?”
so I said nothing to my parents. Maybe they would understand someday.
Before my 18th birthday I returned to Jordan, life is now empty, no education, and I couldn’t bring my piano with me.
First thing I thought, “Find Job” I started working, my fluent English and Russian helped me sometimes.
And I studied computer in 1 year, I knew windows interface by heart, and fixed almost all software problems, even suggested changed for upcoming versions to Microsoft.
Father was in USA, his financing was not enough for even food, my job didn’t cover the rent.
I couldn’t afford a respectable job, without graduating from school, neither university.
I was a lost child now.
Had not much to do I started writing, I didn’t read much stories or tales, so I didn’t really know styles of writing.
I’m 20 years old, nothing changed, no new music, no new books, and eating only one plate a day.
Finding job is hard, worked a few months here and a few months there. My poor communication skills, and dealing with people. Didn’t hold for long.
Till today I’m still looking for job,
My best writings I had to copyright them and published them on my never visited site.
I didn’t have Internet access, and my plans to self study computer languages stopped at that.
I shouldn’t give up, but the hard questions was, what should I do, working wouldn’t bring me piano, neither I can afford school, I can’t even afford a room to live in. we didn’t own a house like most families do.
I lived poverty. But still I aim to work, and my next step now… is to study Japanese Languages, and Mathematics. Perhaps my father who’s now an American citizen will someday take me, so I find chance there, my piano skills were insufficient to go to a band but a little piano education would fix that, life is not hard if you live it, I believe that it’s one of things that gets easier the more you do it.
I had no more purpose in it, thou I only aimed to study, because I have a feeling, that this is the road to whatever purpose I wake up for everyday…
Written February 11th, 2010