Jordanian life.

Never have I felt so humiliated, never did I cross the line. and never did I like someone before..

First Girl I have in my life. started as an open experiment..

I was just seeing how a girl reacts.. ended up slightly wrong where I got involved in my own lab.

things turned intimate, for a few months things were going well, except that I crossed the line. and now I fall in regret.

nothing much to tell about my first relationship, I was sometimes dead serious. and sometimes I was just drifting away..

for 3 years I made no eye contact with my partner, only phone talking.. loyal I remained.. but also a bastard.

the concept of GF is to have a friend girl who you can understand and be understood, take responsibility and keep control..

.. if my relationship wasen’t much of the GF concept..

I can relate ( intimate contact, rare meeting, and phone / text ) to something of a “Spare” Concept.

in my case I had no spare… but my work, study, and state don’t permit me to meet all the GF Concent demands..

therefore I’ve become her “Spare” however unknown to me why keeping all the secrecy?

I know in Jordan having a relationship embarrassment as walking in your underpants in a crowded street.

the concept of morality here is bounded to only what people should know on the surface. therefore all the unaccepted actions of the society happen in private.

people have no fear of  dishonesty or god here, they fear from society, family.. and the law.


For the last week I have though alot.. I’ve come to hate girls. not all girls…. but those selfish and non-considering type. like my ex-girlfriend.

I wish the pain goes away soon, or I fear of my actions to commit crime


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