of my Mind
Prelude: one of my incomplete old chronicles I decided to share with everyone since my death is near .. 🙂
It never has a start or an end, neither
birth nor death play part of my life.
It is never minded of deed except for
But there is more to memory than past.
Always I have tried to write something,
and when I first started with a pencil and paper I had so many ideas to
I wrote and others read, I wrote whole
books that I later lost in an accident.
A few years whorled down the time vortex
and my father brought me a gift of my desire for once.
A computer, that when I started to type my
words instead of writing on a paper. And I lost my inspiration then.
My thrive lays in holding that pencil I
bought from library especially for and write in a huge notepad that which was
worth to memory.
We all struggle for it, some of us give it
up later; but some of us understand the better choice.
I was a loser, I gave it all up when
desperation invaded me, a terrible family, homelessly I lived all my life, and
never have I learnt to stand up. I never had the powerful desire to keep
But aside all what happened to me in the
moment, there were always elements that made me smile back and remember, I was
once myself before, and I made a one promise I meant to never break again,
I shall never fall again but stand strong
and give hope for all others, that even the weak always have a chance.
And it eluded me, time was the most vital
and complicated factor in my life, to acknowledge it took many years of me, and
yet took more for some other people.
To me finding a soul mate was a mare idea
of choosing a soul mate.
For some, Soul mate is a wife to be,
others consider it as another soul that completes one’s own based on the theory
that people are made in pairs.
As for me I never search for a soul mate,
I believe in Idolism, that a perfect male can always find his way to the
To me Marriage is not based on love,
neither mutual attraction.
In marriage I concentrate on my offspring,
thus I choose a female according to its genetic parameters; length, Spiritual
state, figural structure, and intelligence.
Those are the same aspects I aim to
improve within me, and become perfect
When I find such female I get attracted,
as I know male nature, I can get attracted to any girl naturally but still I
choose wither to loose myself or hold back.
Nothing must go beyond the measure of
control, balance and target must remain clear
It’s a cold shivering pulse, to sense
life, Life is measured by the moment and a person is measured by his past.
My marriage plan remains simple,
Find a mutual perfection, fertilize and
One must understand his role in a family,
in no longer works to be selfish, such task costs sacrifices.
The female takes care of raising children;
her intelligence and spiritual state take a major role in life.
The female’s task is to govern the house
hold, financial and planning operations rest upon her shoulder.
I as the male take upon feeding and
protecting the family at all costs.
House working belongs to maids, in any
family there has to be at least to maids, one for the husband, on for the wife.
Maids have to be of same sex.
Such as my maid, would be a gentleman
loyal servant and best friend, My wife’s Maid can be chosen by her own taste, I
personally believe a Maid is a best friend that can be trusted to carry
additional tasks and information, Maids stay in the same house we stay in and
they are protected and considered part of the family.
Selecting a maid is also uneasy as it
seems at first.
A maid must have natural attributes such:
Intelligence, Honesty above friendship,
other attributes is to be selected individually
Hence, Musical and entertaining talents,
Political perception, and mechanical skills are chosen by the owner.
For instance: I would need a person of
political perception, and a taste for fashion, since those skills are absent in
my personality, it’s almost the same base I would choose a wife on, however a
wife cannot take as many tasks of a maid and a nest.
Otherwise she would lose her beauty and
vitality which could affect the offspring’s growth progress.